It was a dark, cold, and gloomy day. The sky was grey, and the rain was thumping hard against my bedroom window.
Whiskey, from the night before, was still surging through my bloodstream. I had drank copious amounts of booze…I lost count, but I would have had at least a bottle of whiskey!
The high from the night before had worn off… back to life back to reality.
Now the debt collector was rearing his ugly head… giving me a fully deserved hangover.
Waking up that day, I felt like an elderly man. My upper back was stiff, my legs felt as though they had shackles on them, and my brain felt as foggy as the weather. I felt like Tyson Fury was in my skull, punching the inner walls of my cranium and giving me a thumping headache.
I finally dragged myself out of bed, looked out the window, and felt a complete sense of despair – what’s the point in all of this? Life is sh*t.
Despite the atrocious weather, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. As I lit up, I started to cough (probably the 30 cigarettes I smoked the previous night!).
As I smoked I stared at the old people’s home ahead and thought to myself again…” what’s the point in all of this?… One day I’ll either end up in a home like that, and at some point…I’m going to die so what’s the point. Why is life so hard? Why is so much of life suffering?”
I was having one of those ‘what’s the meaning of life moments’ – I’m sure you’ve probably had one at some point in life?
I was depressed.
I had left the university bubble and was embarking on starting a new business called LEP Fitness.
Things weren’t going very well.
We were living off Sally’s wage, which was around £8 per hour.
I was smoking 40 roll-ups per day, drinking heavily, suffering from anxiety, and was at my lowest point in life. AND…I couldn’t see a way out.
I felt ashamed. I felt weak, and if somebody would have offered me a button to end it all then and there (and without hurting my friends and family)…who knows what would have happened.
I was at my lowest.
Despite me trying hard to build a business…I had zero clients and was rejected on a daily basis by the people I approached. I handed out 500 flyers, and not one person signed up!
Every time I stared at myself in the mirror, all I saw was a failure. I eventually stopped looking in the mirror, as I just couldn’t face myself anymore.
There I was… 24 years old, with nothing to show for it. No money. No career. Just a bum, addicted to anything that would give me a break from my present reality: food, cigs, and booze.
I knew I wanted a successful business, but the reality was far from it. I had zero experience when it came to setting up a business and didn’t know where to start. I just couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I wanted to throw in the towel.
Back to the story….
I smoked yet another cigarette while I walked to the shop and bought a can of Relentless (you know those energy drinks that make you buzz around like Usain Bolt?)… although… to be honest… I’d been so reliant on caffeine that I was just drinking it to be able to get through the day, and I no longer got a buzz from it. Caffeine was yet another crutch I had become dependant on.
Any spare moment I had, I tried to fill it with something to distract myself from the present moment because the present moment felt so unbearable.
That morning I chain-smoked (a common habit of mine) going through half a pack of 20 cigarettes. My skin felt tight and dry. The stench of smoke engulfed my clothes, making me smell like some old fashioned pub. After my lungs could take no more…
I finally rested my head on the hard sofa.
My head was spinning, when was this all going to end?
I fell into a deep sleep, tossing and turning.
When I woke, my neck was stiff, and I just lay there, unaware of time, just merely staring into space like a computer whose hard drive has been totally wiped.
Darkness approached, I still hadn’t moved.
I thought about putting the TV on, but then I couldn’t be bothered to reach for the remote that lay on the table… only a meter ahead of me.
Then I looked up at my bookshelf and saw a book on the shelf, which a family member had bought me.
That book was called Awaken The Giant Within by a guy named Tony Robbins.
I had nothing else to do.
I decided to pick the book up and started reading it.
Ten pages in…and I’m enjoying myself— Finally, something that feels good.
I stayed up that entire evening reading the book (548 pages!) Like a magnet on a fridge…I was unable to move away from the book – entirely transfixed!
The penny finally dropped for me, and all of a sudden, I felt a sense of hope. There was a way out of this black hole.
That’s all it took for me…one book.
After finishing the book, I fell asleep during the day, because my circadian rhythm was all messed up. I was living a nocturnal rock star lifestyle BUT without the fame, glory, and money! Lol!
When I woke up, I threw my pack of cigarettes in the bin. I made my bed (the first time in about ten years!). I cleaned out my clothes, dusted off my work desk, and got my sh*t together.
That book changed my life.
Don’t get me wrong it took time, but the book gave me hope and a sense of purpose. The biggest thing that happened was the BELIEF that I had the power to change my situation.
After reading Awaken The Giant Within, I became obsessed with reading. Reading a book every other week and reading at least 30 new books per year (which I continue to do to this day).
From these books, I’ve learned lessons in business, marketing, coaching, and psychology. They’ve changed my life and have helped me to help other people to change theirs.
Alongside the reading, I also started listening to audiobooks and podcasts. I tuned into self-help gurus and followed their advice.
My life changed for the better.
My business started to take off.
Within 12 months of reading Awaken The Giant Within my bout of depression had passed, and I had gotten a full diary of paying clients! I had built a life for myself that felt worth living… and even better than that… I felt happy.
I know you are probably thinking, “what’s the point in telling us this story Nick?”
But I just wanted to share with you that no matter how unhappy you are in life, there is always a way through.
PLEASE REMEMBER THIS…
Every situation you encounter in life is resolvable.
No matter how much things may suck now, they don’t always have to be this way.
Keep turning up each day, and don’t stop fighting for what you want in life.
For those of you out there who are struggling, keep your chin up.
REMEMBER that there are people out there who CAN and WANT to help you.
REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
We all suffer at some stage in life. Whether it’s the passing of a loved one, or whether it’s a mental block that you’re struggling to overcome.
Every negative situation passes.
There are many brighter days ahead…
P.S. If, for whatever reason, you are struggling, and you would like someone to chat with… please drop me a message. I’m also happy to schedule a call. I’m not saying I know all of the answers (I really don’t!), BUT I’m willing to listen and try my best to help.