One thing I’ve seen a lot of over the years with clients is a lack of love for themselves as people.

They’re too fat, not rich enough, not smart enough, etc, etc.

When something good happens they put it down as ‘good luck’ or worry that it won’t last. BUT when something bad happens they’re the first to beat themselves up!

You can’t win with this mindset!

What a way to live!

I can relate to this mentality though, I’ve spent lots of my life ‘not feeling good enough’. Ive then either numbed my feelings through food, or alcohol…

or…

Used the low feelings I had about myself to strive to make myself better through achievement.

The problem is that neither truly work, and you are never fully satisfied no matter what you do.

You can’t win with either mindset…

#1 Once you’ve binged you feel guilty.

#2 When you’ve accomplished something that emptiness eventually returns and the void needs to be filled again – so you end up back in the rat race trying to achieve more.

It’s easy to keep making yourself better through achievement, or like I said earlier…

The common alternative is to make yourself happy through pleasure actives like…

• food 
• alcohol 
• gambling 
• TV
• drugs 

Life becomes a rollercoaster of ups and downs where you’re constantly trying to get pleasure and run away from pain.

This is because you’re not accepting yourself for just being YOU.

You don’t need a good body to love yourself, or a flashy car, lots of friends, big house, etc to be happy.

And when you focus on ‘what you don’t have’ and ‘how little you’ve accomplished’ and ‘how everyone else is doing better than you’ – guess what happens??

You attract those things into your life and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy where you prove yourself right!

You either go back to those addictions or go on the hunt for acceptance from others by achieving more.

Now I’m not saying you shouldn’t set goals and reach for the stars – you should! But in order to change and be at peace with yourself you need to ACCEPT YOURSELF where you are right now.

Next time you look in the mirror, instead of noticing the tummy roles, wrinkles, grey hair (or lack of hair), or whatever you dislike about yourself…

Instead look into your eyes and see the beauty, focus on what you like about yourself, the good things you’ve done for people – those doors you’ve opened for strangers, that £1 you gave to a homeless person, that story you read to your child in bed, etc, etc.

Focus on all of the good aspects about yourself and realise how amazing you really are!

When you learn to LOVE and ACCEPT yourself your world will change and beautiful things will start to happen.

You’ll see more love in the world, amazing people will enter your life, more opportunities will occur, and you’ll sleep far more peacefully at night knowing that you are perfect just the way you are.

Nick 🙂