Never Feeling Good Enough…

The other day I was in the gym and I noticed 3 young ladies training together. Approximately 18-20 years old, they were super body conscious, not one hair was out of place, all wearing a full face of make-up, fitted gym attire and doing far too much posing in the mirror!

I also noticed another girl training alone. You could see her watching the young girls and although I’m no mind reader I could tell that she was feeling out of place in the gym and most likely comparing herself to the other younger, more slimmer ladies.

There was a part of me that just wanted to go and give this woman a hug and tell her that she was awesome. But regrettably, I bottled it, thinking she would think I was some weirdo!

I left the gym feeling sad, all I wanted to do was wave a magic wand and help. In hindsight, I wish I would have found a way to reach out: like go over and start a conversation, or just give her a pat on the back for training in the first place.

Body Dysmorphia…

Over the last year I’ve worked with lots of young people and it’s been a real eye opener. It’s been alarming in fact to see so many young women (and men!) lacking in confidence due to their body image.

Youngsters are constantly comparing their body image to these tanned celebrities with glistening tans and pearly white Hollywood teeth!

It’s a difficult predicament, and I can wholeheartedly relate, I’ve been there myself and I know how it feels to…

“not feel good enough”

“not feel attractive enough”

“not feel smart enough”

Media Shaming…

The media highlights the fact that it’s bad to have cellulite, tummy roles, and bingo wings – and if we don’t meet the ‘Good Looks Criteria’ it’s easy to feel shame, inadequate and not good enough.

The fear of not fitting in scares the sh*t out of us.

We live in a society that rewards beauty and encourages us to strive for perfection. Marketing campaigns target our insecurities…

”buy our product and look beautiful”

“wear these clothes to fit in and look cool”.

So much money is spent on spray tans, makeup, clothes, and the millions of other grooming products but barely anytime is spent on cultivating a loving relationship with ourselves.

Shifting priorities…

Now I’m not for one second saying that we shouldn’t strive for better bodies, or success. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with striving for improvement in these areas, but we need to be mindful of how much importance and time we are investing working towards such superficial attributes.

There’s so much more to life.

I believe it’s far more important to work on who we are as people, building our character from the inside out (not the other way round!)

Striving to be a better husband, wife, father, mother, son, daughter, and friend is much more admirable in my opinion than having a bronzed bikini body!

Rather than being totally self obsessed, we could spend more time helping others. Whether that’s donating £1 to a homeless person for food, or whether that’s giving up your seat to an elderly lady on the bus.

Rather than looking at the world from a place of scarcity…I’m not good enough…I need more money….I need a better body! Let’s instead try to look at the world from a place of abundance and gratitude…I am good enough.. I am loveable…Life is good.

When you appreciate all that’s good in your life, and learn to love yourself, your perception changes, and the world becomes a wonderful place. Work on the inside first and the outside stuff will fall into place inadvertently…

Nick